Psy Portal

6 Jul

Fifth Dimension ACCWords fail me today. This is the third attempt to frame this destitute state into words. The magnitude of the vortex of pain I have gotten into, does not allow for words to claim it. Maybe I should just put up a picture of The Scream. It will show it.

Words seem to fail me today. I give up the attempts, and just take the ultimate loss. At least, that is what I want to say. The vortex will not go away by claiming defeat. I will only lose myself within it, no longer able to survive without it. Maybe I should just put up an Aaliyah video. She will sing it.

Words continue to fail me today. I will never say the words “mommy, I made it”. Never to her. It is not her fault, she was cursed without her consent. She had to free herself and put it on me. Maybe I should send her a letter, and tell her. She will scream.

Words continue to fail me today. How do I explain to that little girl that they hate us? I cannot do that to her. It is not her fault, she was cursed without her consent. She had to free herself and put it on me. She wrote me a letter to tell me. Here comes the scream.

Words seem to fail me today. I need to shield myself from the attacks, and carry on. Let go of the excess baggage, and take up my weapons. I have not met the real enemy yet, but I am sure that I will find her within so I can vanquish her without. She has been testing me, pushing me, hurting me. No voice to sing it.

Words fail me today. This is the last attempt. I have no more need for words. I feel my power returning to me. The vortex shrinks, and destitution with it. They were so sure that I could not win, but I have outgrown it. They are at a loss for words. No need to show it.

I will just have to spell it.

TMB 2013

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